Lack of sleep

I've had some strange hours of sleep. Last night was another that ended with mostly restlessness. The heat has rest impossible to find. My daughter wakes me up for breakfast before 7 am. And on my phone.. There he is. We chit chat for a while and he reminds me that he thinks of me often. The me in his head creeps in when he has a moment to himself with nothing to do. It petrified me. I don't want to be someone else's fantasy. Someone who isn't mine. Someone who I don't belong to.
The lack of sleep is making my head hurt.
The thought of someone else makes my heart ache because he's not who I love and adore with all my heart ..
And I am not that some else's someone.

What am I doing. I'm playing on what feels to be dangerous grounds. I don't like this place. I've never been made to feel safe but this... This frightens me.
I can feel myself running. Hiding. My chest aches because it's suddenly hard to breathe but my heart is literally pounding.... As if it's begging to be let out.
Run. Seems safe, right?

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