Hypocrite.

Habits are learned, not born with. And I hate people who allow others' actions and mannerisms to rub off on them, myself included.

My father has been a huge influence on mine and my brother's lives. He was never an absent parent. A loving and caring father. His personal ventures aside, his way with his friends (few) and his relationship with his wife, my mother, and his own family, he was there for us. He made sure we knew he would be there for us whenever we needed him. For whatever the deed.

As a child I saw a great deal of physical abuse and anger.
It seems to be a trait that branched from him to us. His mannerisms, a man who thinks it's his way or the highway. An individual with a strong and over powering personality that he was far from a follower. A leader or a loner.
My mother did everything for my father. Cooked, cleaned, brought him his food to his hands as he sat waiting. Catered to his every whim. If he needed clothes, she bought it. His favorite meals. She did it. He had a gruff way about him when he thought she was drawing out of line.

My brother, now 27, is the exact same way.
Today he pissed me off and I'd had it.
He has a new girlfriend. A first that he would acknowledge as his girlfriend.
In the past he'd never ever get himself caught up in any relationship that required him spending more than one night with the same girl.
He made people feel inferior to him in his speech, his actions and his wants or needs. I recall him saying "I like to push to see what i can get from a person, how much I can get before they say 'no' then I move on."...
If it doesn't happen his way when he wants it, how he wants it, he tends to make that person feel like complete shit, like he was the one let down, regardless of the reason.
He's a giving person. Yes.
Kind hearted. Yes.
Strong minded. Very.
Selfish? I wouldn't call him selfish. Or greedy. I don't have the right word just yet.

He's very pig headed, and stubborn, and seems to think everyone MUST follow his lead or get out of his way.
If you can't do it here, now, go away.

My current qualm?
I have 2, really.
I refuse to talk about my personal trials and tribulations with Chris to him. Why? He's an angry man. But in his drunken stupor he WILL say something over the top to Chris and a fight will ensue. He preaches, but he doesn't practice.
Before the girl he's with now, he was after a friend of mine.
She's my age. I didn't like it. I made sure my friend knew that as well as he. BUT it wasn't my call on their decision. She knew he wasn't looking for something solid and he knew she's a single mother or a young girl. A persons' past should never speak for who they are now. She used to carry herself in a not so unavailable way.
And other guys, my brother's friends included, took advantage of that every chance they could.

Needless to say, I found out about 'them' on Christmas eve of 09.
But like any woman would, she was falling for him and he wouldn't have it.
So he started stepping back..without letting go. Wrong of him but done nonetheless.

She soon wised up after she said she couldn't handle it anymore. She's a mom. She wants and deserves better. More.
So she left. And I was glad she did.
I look at it like this. My brother is my brother but he's also a man. And I have little respect for men who treat women like objects of want and nothing more.
YET if something happens to me, he's the first in line to kick some ass.
I don't get it. He treats other girls with disrespect, but he won't let it happen to me.
It baffles me.

It's almost 2 years later now.
That friend is married (her reasoning was one I didn't like at all) and living with her husband who'd moved in with her several months after my brother and her parted ways.

My friend.
I've known her since high school. As I said, she 1. had a best friend who was the biggest neighborhood slut you could know ..so she got her name dragged through the mud simply by association. And soon, she lived up to the reputation that she was dragged into.
Had a child with a loser of a man who can neither pay child support or hold on a steady job. He's constantly taking her to court to decrease his child support payments.
He's currently with his new girlfriend who is also pregnant.
Before I was pregnant, we spent a GREAT deal of time together, so being that she was always around because of me, it was easy access for my brother.
After I had Jaiden and they broke up, so to speak, our time dwindled because my brother was always around and she didn't want to risk running into him.

A week before she got married, I was aware that he was texting her while with his current girlfriend and his under the knowledge of her being married to her now-husband.
She lied and told him they were already married. Why? Because he wouldn't leave her alone. His words?
"You would do it if you knew you wouldn't get caught."
"You have a girlfriend, I am married."
"So?"
..and she'd leave him alone. She'd ignore his requests. THIS WAS AFTER..she'd already sent him a picture. She said it was to get him to 'leave her alone'.
Really?
Didn't work. Because he wanted more.
So she panicked and called me.

All the talking, all the complaining...but I was never to know anything, at all. If anyone asked, I knew nothing. I wasn't supposed to confront him or mention to anyone what I knew.
And I didn't mind. It wasn't my place to be invovled more than I was. Maybe not at all.

When she kept saying no, she said he resorted to threatening to blackmail her.
I told her to 'call his bluff'.
Why would someone in a relationship, who wants to HIDE the fact that they want to 1. cheat and 2. break up a marriage, choose to want to blackmail. It won't work.
She said that because of his constant contact, she pushed to get married asap.
I didn't like that idea.
At all.

The girl he's with now, she works hard - he is currently unemployed.
She pays all the bills and I know he contributes.
BUT the way he talks down to her ALL the time. The way he sits and waits while telling her "Find me a snack." or "Make me dinner."...it's so disrespectful.
Whenever they're around ...They are ALWAYS fighting because he takes EVERYTHING with a great assault. As if everyone's words are challenging him.
If we go out, same deal. It's the couple who can't go out and have a good time and are always fighting about the stupidest shit.
It's embarrassing.

To her.
To him.

So yesterday they're here. I had let him know that what he did to my computer was bringing up an error message. He said he'd stop by later to fix it. Fine.
30 minutes later, no phone call, no text, he's here. I'm, of course, busy so he's forced to wait.
His fault.
In their waiting, once again, they're going at it because he thinks if he makes her feel foolish in front of us he looks like the good guy. Mind you, they're here with a friend as well. So I remind him. 1. My daughter's asleep. 2. He's in MY house and it's RUDE to tell me not to get involved when he's talking to her. I agreed, it's not my business, but he should take it outside. Go home. I don't give a fuck, but not here. I didn't remind him that EVERY time they're together he's a jackass to her.
Every time we go out he's an asshole.
He said I should ask him to leave and he'd not come back. I said it was his choice. But I'm asking him to respect our home. Act a fool outside where people can see and know you're an asshole.

He's just as good an adversary as he is a bad enemy.
I hate how he treats the people in his life.
I hate that he thinks its always his way or no way.
One day he'll be alone because everyone around him will see past that tough loud exterior for who he really is. And leave.
And that will suck.