Sunday, July 17, 2011

I'm confused.. I think

I know I'm probably confused quite often but moreso lately. He's been on edge and cranky and just in an all round bad mood. In his line of work, he's been able to be fortunate enough to get away with taking off work, having a crazy amount of PTO and travel. Also, he can make his own hours on almost every given work day. Sucks for me, I know. He's gone to work on days that I have to assume he's working but have later come to find out he wasn't. Hence the suckage for me. I cant make plans because I never know what days "I have to work today" are the real ones. He has a habit of .. On Monday's after his conference calls which he stays in for, he doesn't leave for work, he stays home. I've always noticed it. Regardless if I ask if he's working or what time. It's almost always a fail. Turns out this past week, his boss didn't take lightly to him being home and pitched a fit. He's used to his boss having a cow whenever it's close to them having to work together.
So noticing his bad mood for what seemed to be most of the week, I kept myself in a pleasant mood, and tried to keep him less than bitchy. Bought him a 'Just because' card and left it on his desk. Figured it may give him a bright moment. I text him almost every day with an 'I love you' or something like it with .. Honestly? Never a reply. But I do it.
After a long day.. After 9.30pm he's home. And he fills me on. He's scared that as of Tuesday he may not be employed. That's apparently how hard is boss came down on him. He said after the ass chewing .. All he could think about was us. Me and jaiden. I doubt it was really me but whatever. "what are we going to do if I don't have a job?"
"we take it day by day. I can't say don't worry. But let's deal with it together as it comes."
"I guess I can take one for the team right?"
"things happen. I support your decision and will stand with you."

Those were my words to him Friday.
Why would he expect different.

Today?
"Mindy, no matter what happens on tuesday know that I love you. "

I'm baffled. But don't show it.
"I know and I love you too. No matter what happens I choose you. To stay. To support. I won't run away. "

As it stands, I don't see him losing his job. He has no written signs .. Or otherwise, of any insubordinations. All his time off has been approved by said boss and never denied. He has over 300 hours of paid time off to be utilized. He's well liked by colleges and his stores. His boss has done nothing but hype him up to others. His reviews are always better than average.
It'll be hard to push for him to be fired on little explainable grounds.
And I stand by my words.

"even if I'm unemployed and balding?"
"no matter what."
I mean it.

Sent from my iPhone

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