I keep getting sad every time I think of him moving. 3 weeks. And then it hits me every time after - I need to not stay here. I need to not focus on him and what he's doing.
I know he'll have a fit when that court summons appears for him in a few days. Then he'll know it's for real. The paperwork is real. That court date is real. And Child Support is real.
This break up is real.
All these excursions will stop. The not-a-date outings he plans. He'll be angry that I actually did it.
And then he'll decide to not pay the rent or the bills til September like he said he would.
Everytime I start looking, or thinking I feel like I'm overwhelmed and over my head.
I don't want to go home. I can't afford to live here and I don't want to not leave here. I don't want to stay here either.
Everyone gets a fresh start but us.
I'm annoyed at myself now.
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