I miss his voice

...I don't know why but I do. I called him yesterday but left a voice mail which I never do, to tell him I was checking to see how his tooth was. That was it. I know he had two removed the day before. I know the pain and discomfort. I wasn't expecting him to answer ...nor call back. But 2 hours later, he did. He said it was about time that I called him for a change. *blinkblink* I said I was trying to stay out of his way and give him room to do what he's doing. He said I could call, and text him anytime I wanted, and I always know where he is. He said he has no money to go anywhere anyways. I said you don't need money to have a good time.
He's still miserable where he is.
He's happy when he's here with us or out with us but doesn't know if that's because he's not here or if he really does miss us.
He feels like, in moving out by himself, he's doing something for himself, and it's about time. With no one breathing down his neck ...no pressure.
He wants to be on his own. He's happy. But not happy being single.
His family is as excited as he is to be moving into his own place - they can't wait to furnish it for him.

He was ok with getting the custody papers.
Said he'd take me with him to court, but it looks like he'll have to get a date change because he won't be here. Apparently that's the day he flies out to Vegas. He doesn't have a lawyer.
He's expecting to get Jaiden 3xs a week.
I didn't want to tell him he might get visitations during the week and maybe every other weekend with her. My only really question was...and maybe it's intuition, maybe it's the things he says and does...but I know he'lll be back. My question was ..."This is a big price we're paying ..how do we ..undo all of this.?"His response mainly pertained to child support because he said "We call the court and we cancel the whole thing..." I said I didn't know if my heart could take all this. "What do you mean..?" I don't even remember what I said. I just know that...all this. All this...soul searching on his part...all the court, all the anger...the people involved. Is it worth it? He thinks it is.

Then he asked if I wanted to go to the movies this week. Again...shocked. I am a Batman fiend. He knows that. He said we could go Friday because his mouth would be better healed by then ..so he could eat popcorn. o.O I said he could just let me know.

There's a lot I didn't say because I know he's set in his mind and I don't want to stress him out, or pressure him. Or make him unhappy.
With what he does, how he is, I think in his heart he already chose me but he's afraid to do it outwardly, openly, since he's still there in his parent's house. He's waiting to move out and then it'll happen. I could be wrong. *shrugs* Maybe he still is confused about us.

...One of his friends called me to see how I was. I was glad he did that. Billy's very scattered in conversation and talking to him is like talking to a parrot. Short, almost repetitive in conversation and very few replies of his own. He said that about a week after Chris had left he'd called him - trying to tell him what had happened. But Billy was a few drinks in and caught but a few words..he said he remembered Chris saying he didn't know what else to do and he wanted a place where no one would be barging in..Billy assumed or assumes Chris got a bigger place for US. But I let him know Chris went and got a place for himself, same one bedroom, more expensive. He did say that everything Chris is saying and doing makes little sense. The things he's said are things you know within the first few months of being with someone. Not wanting to be with them. Not years. He asked if I talk to Chris. I said that we do speak but it's when Chris initiates it. I don't text nor call which is 99% true. If I have to reach out to him it's more often than not about Jaiden. When we're together things are fine, there's no arguments, no awkwardness.
Billy feels he has little to say to Chris because he'd shut him out for months at a time. And now that his life hit a hole he's reaching out to him. He doesn't think that's fair to him. But he'll listen to him. I said that's all he needs, possibly.

He's banking on moving in a month. He's hoping it's a month because he can't receive confirmation ..it goes to his work email and his work laptop is no good. If not then he'll have to wait til the beginning of September.

Either way Jaiden and I will be moving at the end of August. Oh..joy.

My heart is lost on him. My head is lost in...getting everything else done.