Tomorrow

...I know he's been saying it for two weeks now, but tomorrow he's off of work. So he'll finally be moving his things out. So he says. I know he wants to take Jaiden to see his parents for the 4th. But he knows he can't. He didn't directly ask. But because my car was 'vandalized' he said he'd go check out some junk yards for me. And then asked Jaiden if she wanted to come along. She's 3. It's junk yards. Not a playground. Makes no sense.

Tonight we got together to go see the fireworks. It wasn't a long night and I had fun. After he dropped us off, she'd fallen asleep in the car so he put her to bed.

Before he left we just...held each other. A long, long hug. I wanted to point out that we'd never done that before. But I figure why ruin it.
But it felt different. A longing. Strange but not. I want to say 'lustful' but I don't lust for him. I love him.

Before he walked out the door as I took off my shoes he asked me to turn around in the dress I was in.
Said he liked the new outfits. I said I'd always had them, but we never went anywhere.
Touché he replied. Touché. And exited

Tomorrow it will hurt to watch him take his things out. I know it'll hurt a lot. Maybe I'll just go hide at my parents house with Jaiden so we don't have to see him leaving.
Tomorrow might just hurt more than I want it to. Because God knows how hard this is already.


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