Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Hyper drive

I can't stop thinking about him. The hidden secrets. The lack of presence. As sucky as he is I just can't focus on anything but him. Is he happy? Is he thinking of us? Does he miss me? Will next Monday go completely wrong and will it ruin us indefinitely because he thinks I'm trying to hurt him or take her away? Does he ever wonder about us?

It'll be a significant turning point, next week. Court. He might use that as more reason to stay away. Use it to lure other women in. "she tried to take my daughter away by asking for full custody. " ..playing the victim like he had with that girl. That still burns me. To tell her those half truths. Those lies about me, about being with his daughter when he wasn't.
I have half the mind to text her, tell her just how it is. "you know he lied to you. He sees his ex gf every week. He doesn't want to date anyone until he's sure about them. He was miserable because he never tried. Not because of her. He walked out on them. Yes they broke up but that was because he never committed to being a husband/boyfriend/father. Don't let his lies and half truths fool you.
He's afraid to handle responsibility towards anything. This was his easy way out under the camouflage of 'doing the right thing'.

But that would just get me in trouble. She isn't worth it nor is he possibly.
But why can't I not think about him so often.

Sent from my iPhone

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