It was a more pleasant way of saying "Same shit, different say" I suppose. I figure, why reflect all that negativity on something that could be positive.
I ask for a lot, of myself.
Be kind.
Be patient.
Be forgiving.
Be faithful.
Be honest.
Be open.
Be funny. Smart. Pretty.
But I ask myself not because it's something I have to do but it's because its something that I should do, for me. To remind ME that I'm all those things great. Good. Fine. Ok.
I think I made him realize that if I'm not ok, then I can't be the one thing I'm home to do: Be a good mom. I can't be a good mom if nothing's right for me. If I'm not happy. My daughter will have a challenging life when it comes to relying on me, the one who's ALWAYS with her but who's always a mess when she's around me. When I'm around her. How can she come to me, ask my advice, my input on anything when I'm a mess? She can't.
Mommy the basket case? No
I let him know his train of thought in thinking "Hey if I leave and she calls someone else 'Dad' - what do I do then?" is wrong. Because our fights has nothing to do with Jaiden. It's US. If you become a part time dad that's on you.
She'll never be the first or last.
You'll always be the sperm do--I mean, father. But being a Dad is completely different.
Men seem to think they need to always turn heads. Why can't they be satisfied by the knowledge that they'll always have their number one fan in the woman at their side? She'll always think he's smart, handsome and sweet. He's still insensitive. He's still stupid and he's still hurtful.
But now he knows, I'll be FINE without him. WE will be fine, without him. If he continues to be useless and unaffectionate and absent, and all the same bullshit he was pulling before, then yeah. Then again, his ass isn't traveling anytime soon either. What a twist!
I guess I'm a bit confused by what happened and what is happening.
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