Faux family

And it's just what they are. The faux in laws as I like to call them. They aren't really my in-laws because Chris and I aren't married. But for the length if time that we've been together, live together, have a daughter, all the family affairs and outings. It seems fitting, I suppose.
But there's always been conflict with them at some point. I'll start slow.

Faux mom.
She and I always coexisted. I dated her first born boy, half I'd her twins.
She did everything for him. Meals. Laundry. Clean room. Woke him for work. Smokes. Booze. Money. Reminder on bills. Lender of car. Co-conspirator. His go to for whatever.
If she needed something done ... Well she would have to lay the guilt on pretty thick or do it herself. But she is the reason why he is the way he is with the habits he has. Late. Lazy. Avid smoker and drinker.
My qualm?
she thinks I'm not good enough for him. I'm good to him. Maybe too good. But that's it. Before I was pregnant she wanted me to convince him to move in with me; but with her waiting on him hand and foot I couldn't. While I was pregnant she didn't help me in any way when he acted like a fool. She took his side in every matter. I'm sure they knew he was seeing someone else while I was pregnant. After I had Jaiden she would swindle her way with Chris after I expressed my views about things dealing with my child. One instance was when Jaiden was born she had, and still has, eczema. After 4 month marker it got worse. I switched pediatricians (who were recommended by his sister) and I saw a specialist. A dermatologist and an allergist. A baby on medicine and steroids. Yeah I did that. After a few months his mother made him take jaiden back to the first doctor who prescribed everything she had already been on. I told her o had fine everything could for her. It was just a matter if dealing with it in a day to day basis. My second opinion in doctors was my choice due to comfort. With her doing that, they didn't read her file right and put my infant back on the same medicine she was in four months previously.
Another factor would be her wanting to do a birthday party for Jaiden's first. We were in Florida the day of so it would be when we returned. Now anyone who knows me knows I would never ever imposition myself in someone's home. So for her to even fathom that I would 1. Make plans without discussing it with her first, is completely outrageous. 2. invite people to her house when I myself am uncomfortable there and NOT tell her, is just fucking retarded. And 3. While in Florida, she was drunk out of her mind so even if we did talk about it (which we didn't), she wouldn't have remembered. So in order for me to do any or all of those things, I'd need some sort of "Ok" from her, right? Right. So 3 days before the party, she calls me up and, no lie, yells at me on the phone like I'm some teenager who got caught coming in past my curfew. I just put the phone down and I could still hear EVERY WORD she said. So she yelled. All I said, thereafter, was "Ok, thanks" -click-
Another instance would be the first time my family was 'invited' to their house on the 4th of July 2 years ago. Chris, Jaiden and myself were there with his relatives and what not, my brother texted to ask where we were, what were we doing. The plan initially was to visit Chris'  parents then go to a town over to my cousin's to see the fireworks and a BBQ. Plan fail. We stayed there, which I was cool with. Was even my suggestion. Chris likes being with his family. So, he suggested my brother stop over. I asked if he was sure that was OK. He assured me it was. With him, was his now live in girlfriend. His mother took immediate offense to that. It was all over her face. Chris' father asked if they'd like some food, he'd throw some steaks on the grill, some hot dogs, some burgers, whatever. My brother said "Sure"..she was PISSED.
A couple hours later, my parents were just getting out of work, they called me to see how things were.I left them know the change in plans and we were still local and my brother was with us. Chris' father suggested they come by. After watching her face melt off the first time, I begged Chris to make sure it was OK. With the answer given, my parents did indeed show up.
Now these were the day when I could still drink. And not just beer but we'd do scotch shots and chase with beer. So I was a few in and with another liquor store run close. Everyone was a bit tipsy by that hour. My parents arrived, and once again, knowing they'd just gotten out of work, his dad offered dinner, which they obliged. Of course, they were hungry. And her face...his mother's face ...was as if my parents weren't good enough to eat her food. it was in utter disbelief that his father could offer such a thing. Offer food? To cook? My mother saw the look on her face...her hunger vanished.
My dad finished most of his with my help as did my brother. I love a good steak. :D
The hours were still falling by, and the drinks kept pouring. I had lightened up because I was made aware of what was going on. His mother was neck deep in whatever she was drinking. it was drawing close after 1am, she's hammered, and the talk had transgressed so wickedly, from everything to money, to lack of money, to class, to... and then she started dropping less than subtle hints of the time. I heard it not once, but twice in a matter of minutes, mind you.My momentary inebriated came to a crashing halt and I was immediately sober. Every few moments she kept reminding everyone of the time, namely my parents. In all her drunken stupor, she made her guests feel, uninvited and unwelcome thereafter and then not good enough to be in her presence. My parents never wanted to be around them again.

Faux Dad
He's always treaded lightly to my face, at least. Then again, men are less judgemental outwardly. He's always been at arms length, very pleasant and friendly.
My qualm?
the first time they met my parents after I got pregnant. My parents are old school, especially my dad. I guess they expected something like this to happen and Chris to be the bigger man and marry me. I don't know. We were at Chris' twin sister's home. His father was drunk. And I was not in the room at the moment. But as I meandered my way back in I overheard "So...my son got your daughter pregnant, ...what do you want me to do? There's nothing I can do."
After 3 months of Chris and I dating, our first Christmas was again, spent at his sister's house. His father and I were outside sharing a cigarette, which I only smoke when I'm completely and utterly trashed. But he said to me "I consider you my daughter already. You're a part of the family. I just have one request. Give me a grandson." I will never forget those words.
He and I have no altercations nor disagreements. I used to call him 'Dad' but I think that made Chris' mom uncomfortable. So I stopped.

Faux brother-in-law
Sean is 21. Again, no qualms. Just that he was rude to my mother once. I didn't like it. I lost a little bit of respect for him. He's young and has no direction yet.

Faux sister-in-law & her husband

Nikki and her cop husband Don. She's a teacher. Mother of 2 sheltered spoiled daughters, 7 and 9 I believe. I've gone to her for advice on many things, but she's crossed the line with me a few times, not as much as her mother. And she has a way of getting into Chris' head, not in a good way, which in turn makes him dislike her more. She's also set in her ways and will mooch off her parents as much as possible.
My qualm?
1. She told Chris that she didn't want me to be a part of the family. No idea WHY she would say that. She's two faced. which could go for her mother as well, but she's a young and more vicious version. Mom's more...passive about it. She uses her children as leverage for getting what she wants be it for herself or her family. She's done it before, I've been witness to it. Again - their mother is a big part of all their bad habits. She'll say something to my face and then tell Chris something completely different.I am very happy Chris sees through her at times and rarely falls for her traps. His mom, not so easy. He's a sucker for his mother, as is any man. Don's a subtle man. But he's got that quiet arrogance about him. I have yet to decipher how I feel about him. My only run in with him aside from the fact he talks about the family behind their back to EVERYONE is that he thinks I'm pretty stupid. I've got him on my clock and his time's slowly ticking away. :D

Faux sister-in-law inadvertently.  Becky, Sean's long time, possibly only girlfriend.
She also just turned 21 and sided with Nikki often, especially when it comes to  things dealing my my daughter. She's a lone child to a pair of dotting parents. She's got fibro myalgia (or so she says) and she's allergic to everything dairy. Again, she talks about everyone behind their back and sides with whoever has the most power in the conversation at that point in time.
 I can't say if I see myself becoming a part of this family. I can say I see Becky becoming part of before I am. She's there more often, she's always around their parents and she's involved in everything from parties, to dinners and every trip they take.

Conclusion?
The fact that they drive past our place every day twice a day and either says they'll stop by and don't or don't at all, as if we live states away or they need an invitation is enough to make me just stop asking/letting them know they're welcome.
I don't mind being the outsider. But don't treat my kid the same way and then act like I keep her away. when I had a car BEFORE I knew she was allergic to cats, I was there with her every chance I got to fit their schedule. Now that I know her allergies, and one home has like, 15 cats and the other recently got one, why should I subject myself and my child to that discomfort.

I'm tired of adjusting my life to accomodate everyone else. Our place is small but it's clean. It's homey and those who know my open door policy take advantage of it. Those who choose not to? Your loss!