Dear John

I wanted to say a few things that I don't have the heart to say to your face. So I thought a letter would do. It's terrible where we are. I'm still not in a happy place. The anguish between us has brimmed to a destructive self loathing that I don't deserve.
I want more. I've always wanted more. And no matter how you say you'll try; you don't. You haven't and you may never. I need love. I need affection. I need attention and acknowledgment .. I need sympathy and caring. I need spoiling. I need to be made to feel alive. Wonderful. Vibrant and desired.
You give me nothing to look forward to. Nothing to be happy about. You rarely make me smile.
I ache to be held. To be kissed. I'd settle to be touched warmly. I ache for passion.
Dear John.
I'm not your wife. I doubt I'll ever be. If you can't be a good boyfriend. A good father. You can't be a better husband. I want someone who will support my ideas and decisions when I have them. I need an active participant in my life. Not someone who is so self absorbed by video games. I support and stand behind everything you do and offer to compromise if it's something you want and I don't agree with.
Dear John.
I love you. I still am in love with you. But I'm here all by myself in this love. And it's not fair. Healthy. Sane. I don't know what more I can do. But I am no longer happy ..
Dear John.
I must let you go.
You never wanted me to begin with.

Sent from my iPhone