I do it because I care..

And because I can, maybe. Or I feel I should. Not that I have to..
Sometimes I think I paint him as imperfect as can be. And I never mean to. He's not a selfish person with money. If I ask for something and he can do it for me, pay for it for me, he will. If I ask him to do something for me, get me a drink, let me nap, I may get that too.
He's definitely not a leader.
He's a follower.
He goes with the flow.
He'll never make plans but he'll go along with anyone elses.
He's consistently late, for everything. So that makes him inconsiderate of others.
He forgets. Alot. And part of it lays in that he's very lazy.
He procrastinates. (Who doesn't these days.)
He considers himself an 'introvert'.Which isn't true at all. An introvert doesn't like being around others. They feel worn out by being with others. Yet he's stated he prefers hanging with a small group of people. Like group date?
But we've had numerous nights where it would be just him and I at a movie or a local TGIF. Or before we got serious, a local dive bar.
He avoids his friends' calls almost always. I remember being the girlfriend who would call back his friend to find out what's up. And to tell them "Yes, he'll come out for a couple hours. " I later learned the friend I did that for/with was the friend who later would come over to get him with the plan to go to Friday's for a drink. Fridays is down the street from our apartment. His friend would assure me ..."An hour or two" as did he. They'd walk out at 8..9pm and wouldn't return til, 2...3am. Where were they? Local strip bar. Or in another town. Why? He never could say no. His friend would take him ..make him spend his money and bring him back, late, and drunk to an angry girlfriend.
But I'd have to be understanding. I'd have to be calm. And not angry.
Why? Because it is how he is.
The last time that happened, after months of me telling him this friend was no friend at all, just someone who used him, who constantly hated his own life, his own marriage and reflected everything BAD about it to him. So he got the wrong idea.
The same friend brought him back drunk but angry at some ungodly hour the last time it happened. And i laid into them both. I was ...not angry. Just...disappointed that he let it happen again but glad he saw his 'friend' for who he was.
I'm not saying his friends are bad, but they are far from good for him. He has NO strong male figure in his life. No positive one either.
So it upsets me that he has no...outsider looking in with some positive advice for him when we have a misunderstanding, for to simply point out what he has, what he's HAD for a long time and what he's done wrong. No one to say "Hey...you're my friend, and as your friend, you should should know..."
Just someone to show him it's not all bad, and won't always be bad.
Someone to tell him "Hey, it's ok to fight, to have arguments ...because she'll always be there for you. Just like you will for her, right?" Someone to reassure him sometimes. I know we all need that.
The last mutual friend we had like that, in all honesty, was a psychotic jackass. Oh...I ought to save that for a different post. See? So many different thoughts.