Friday, December 23, 2011

Another hit and miss, it seems.

I'm sure he feels rather rejected. I know I would if I was in his shoes, to be quite honest. I hadn't seen Walter for about 2 days after his little rant. And when I did, here's a smidgen of what was said.

  • Walt Seaman
    5 hours ago
    Walt Seaman
    • as per that part of it
    • lkol
    • and idk, i guess thats why i asked because i didnt know
  • Mindy Mohammed
    5 hours ago
    Mindy Mohammed
    • So how do you feel now that..I know.
  • Walt Seaman
    5 hours ago
    Walt Seaman
    • like the cats out of the bag and i shouldve kept my mouth shut
  • Mindy Mohammed
    5 hours ago
    Mindy Mohammed
    • Why?
  • Walt Seaman
    5 hours ago
    Walt Seaman
    • well because now you know, lol, and idk lol
  • Mindy Mohammed
    5 hours ago
    Mindy Mohammed
    • Ah
  • Walt Seaman
    4 hours ago
    Walt Seaman
    • blah lol
  • Mindy Mohammed
    4 hours ago
    Mindy Mohammed
    • done cleaning?
  • Walt Seaman
    4 hours ago
    Walt Seaman
    • hell no
    • lol
    • never
  • Mindy Mohammed
    4 hours ago
    Mindy Mohammed
    • lol
  • Walt Seaman
    4 hours ago
    Walt Seaman
    • So hows your cleaning going
  • Mindy Mohammed
    4 hours ago
    Mindy Mohammed
    • Oh I cleaned everything. Bathroom, kitchen, ceiling to cloors
  • Walt Seaman
    4 hours ago
    Walt Seaman
    • niiiiice
  • Mindy Mohammed
    4 hours ago
    Mindy Mohammed
    • toilet, bath, counters , stove, heating vents
  • Walt Seaman
    4 hours ago
    Walt Seaman
    • impresive
  • Mindy Mohammed
    4 hours ago
    Mindy Mohammed
    • I know - I'm awesome

      Ok I lied, that was pretty much the whole thing. Random nothings til he brought it up. Maybe I was brutally honest in that ..not so...vicious way. maybe he took it with a great assault considering he put his heart, and his feelings out there with high hopes, at least that's how it seems now, and was shot down with no real...thought. I was honest in what I said and now it seems as though what he said about gambling with a friendship was more of a risk to him than it seems, rather than to me ...I guess you can look at it as ...I don't really care if he's in my life, friend or not, and here he is, thinking if he told me how he felt, openly and honestly, then things would somehow be different.

      What was I supposed to say? "Where have you been all my life? How did I not see you?" ? No...And for that dinner, how can he even expect me to fulfill something like that knowing I'm with someone. Knowing how I am and how I think, and feel. it'd be like, ...Well I'm in love with Chris and I went on a date/not date with Walter as just friends because he thinks we could be good together - it was an opener to the land of "What if"- so if by some never in a million years chance ...I find out Walter's some GREAT man, and I SUDDENLY wake up and say "Well, he's better than where I am now..let's mosey on over to that side of the pasture where the grass is OBVIOUSLY greener...PFT - Baloney.

      It's always GREAT in the start. This .where I am, I'm 5 years deep, 7 years invested. And Guess what? All that garbage he spewed about 'waiting for 4 years' and 'risking a friendship'? Chris said it ALL. So it's nonsense.

      Walter should have...well..I guess...it's wrong to say 'shouldn't have' because when we go on emotions, our hearts forget that our brain is usually right.

      So I guess the real hurt is staring him in the face when he talks to me knowing he doesn't stand a shot in the dark because I'll never be over, free and clear enough to give him a fair shot. That's how I feel, anyways. It'd take years for that to completely happen. I'm like a lobster, I love for life. o.O

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