My job

I was expressing today that - i enjoy my part time job. I don't wake up dreading being there. Dreading seeing the people I work with or the kids I have to see. At least not yet. I hope I don't have that for a long time to come. I like that I have a goal 3 out of the 7 days in the week. I like that I'm happy to get ready and be prepared to leave. I'm slowing starting to not care if Chris is home, watching porn, not thinking of me. I'm happy knowing my daughter is either with me or with my mom. She's taken care of. I'm happy knowing that I won't be where I am forever and it's just the start. FOR ME. It's all for me. Granted today I came home after he picked me up and I looked at his IE history and was set at momentary ease at there being no porn, but then asked myself.."Who...cares"..Why? There's nothing I can do about it. It's done. I can't undo it, make him not have watched and ....it only hurts me to know he had. So...I shouldn't.

I no longer call every day. but I do often to say hello and tell him I love him.
I'm still nice to him. I still do things FOR him. But he's not longer a priority in my life. Not him, not his family.

I used to think they'd be on my side but they won't. I used to think he's on my side but he's not. So I find happiness in the things that work for me. My job, MY family, my daughter. His place in my line of priorities has declined. And shall continue to do so.