It's been about 2 weeks since I've heard from him. And everyone keeps telling me to talk to him, hang out with him, it's ok. Why? I'm not doing anything wrong at all. Just being a friend. BUT I know in his heart, it's not what he wants. And I know it's not my place to think for him. His feelings and thoughts I can't control. But in our recent interactions, he's voiced things I don't need to hear nor want to know. it's made me uncomfortable. And I've stepped back to give HIM some space to make HIS decisions and me not be involved in ANY way. The last time we spoke he said it was a rough week and he wanted to talk. By talk he means see or call. And I wasn't in the mood. I'd rather him text but he didn't want to. and I didn't care enough to ask.
I'm tired to the nobodies wanting. He has no job, no income, no interests. He can contribute NOTHING to me or to a relationship with me. How do I know? Been there. Done that. He's still the same person he was, just with a better understanding of having someone good in his life. Not that he doesn't. He has a good woman. But he doesn't want her. Doesn't feel connected with her as he says he does with me.
Me? I care for him. But I don't want to be with him. He's got a house, a car, money ..he's set. But me? I work for EVERYTHING I have and am at the brink of losing it all in my decisions. So I'm treading carefully. Lightly. Because if I make waves. I'll drown. And it's won't be JUST me. I have a daughter to think of.
I've been tempted to text. But...I can't. I just don't have the strength to face him in the smallest way.
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