...between the two jobs I have now, and looking for something full time, or even considering taking on another part time job is making me tired. The very thought of it wears me out. And the big part of it is ...my daughter. What do I do if I can't have her with me. Shuffle her from family member to family member?
If I go for this manager's position, here's numerous things to consider.
1. I'd have to wake up really early to beat the traffic since the business is located in a very congested, college area. It's only 20 minutes away but because of its location, 20 minutes turns into 2 hours of complete chaos.
2. I'd have to have Jaiden with me for the 8-10 hours most of the week. The days my mom gets off, I can definitely leave her with her.
3. Winter driving in that is going to be HELL.
4. The pay might be better.
5. Benefits might be involved.
There's another place I'm applying to today. Things to consider?
1. It's right across the street from my apartment.
2. If the pay is better than $8.00/hr it's definitely something to consider.
3. I might be able to keep Jaiden in the office with me. I might not.
4. My rent will be reduced since I would be an employee.
5. It might not be full time.
6. It might not have benefits if it's not full time. And the rent reduction issue might be conflicted.
7. No matter the weather, I can get to work!
My aunt, the one who got me the job at RWJ and the one who told me about the job across from my home, said she would come over and stay with Jaiden any day she could so I could go to work. And as much as I appreciate that, I HATE having to schlep my kid around from home to home, job to job. Depending on people. "It takes a village to raise a child." - those were my aunt's words, but regardless, I feel like such a douche.
Again, working my ass off and I can't spend time with her?
And then even thinking of CONSIDERING working all 3 jobs?
All for the money.
It's so much. For both her and I. Yes, the savings would be phenomenal.
Yes, I'll be doing well. But at what cost?
Yes, it would be short term, once again.
Because in January, I can look into putting her into school without her asshole father. BUT I would be the one taking her to school at 8am and then picking her back up at 12pm. And even then? WHAT do I do with her if I can't keep her in the office?
If God can throw me all these choices, he's either testing my direction or, doing it for a greater reason. In the back of my head, I want the job across from my house and I want to be able to have Jaiden there with me.
4 out of the 5 days she'll be with me, maybe even 3. Perhaps less if I take my aunt up on her offer to stay at my place with Jaiden while I'm at work, or until she has to go to work.
I'm not against working hard. Never have been. I once did 2 jobs for about 3 months for the money. Trying to save up so I could move out again while I was dating Chris. I wanted my own place while he was still living at home.
I only gave up one of the jobs, despite how good it paid because I began falling asleep at the wheel. Working 6am-4pm and then 5pm-11 or 12 at night almost every night eventually caught up to me. BUT I didn't have my daughter then.
Now? I have a child to consider. I have bigger priorities aside from my wallet. Right now I'm juuuuust making it. Barely, really. And that's no way to live, in all honesty.
I've got my fingers crossed in hopes I can get the job and have the 'luxury' of having my daughter with me when I have to. It's not a busy place but it's a place of business. She's not 10, she's 3.
If I had to choose, I'd go with the one across from me rather than the manager's spot ..because the location is better and I wouldn't have to sacrifice much getting to work in bad weather.
I pray God shows me a way in making the right choice. And I hope he cuts me a break when it comes to my daughter. The cold I can deal with. Waking up early I could maybe deal with too. But the snow? Fuck no. The traffic. Double fuck no.
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