I had a terrible dream last night. I know I did. Because it felt like I was crying. I'm unsure if I was. The whole night once I went to bed was a blur. Alone. My daughter on the blanket I left her on outside in the living room.
It might have been the heat.
It might have been a dream of a dream.
I don't know.
We haven't spoken to each other (via text anyways) since Thursday. And even then, ...
"Can you be completely honest with me about something?"
"What's that."
"Are you seeing someone else, or want to see someone else."
"Your mom asked me that very same question. No and no."
"I appreciate you answering me."
And I left it at that..
"Remember, new policy...honesty."
and somehow it meandered awkwardly to your dad telling you to go out for a drink but you didn't want to. And then you said you'd promised Jaiden rides on Sunday. I should have said..."You should have spoken to me about it first." but the fact that you asked if I wanted to come threw me.
I asked who was coming, where? when?
You said your mother had tried to invite herself but you'd told her no. I smiled.
I said yes, I'd go with Jaiden.
Sunday. After work. Either Pt. Pleasant or Keansburg.
Why ask me to come along? Because he felt I wouldn't let Jaiden go alone?
It's possible.
He seems distressed.
Like he wants to try but is so apprehensive. And every time I see or talk to him, I'm scared. because my heart, my eyes will betray what I know should be the right thing to do.
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