No hope now

"you can't just ruin someone's life and pretend like it never happened..."
I wish those words would mean something if they were said to Chris. But it would fall on deaf ears ... All others have. He said he thought trying was better than giving up. But he wasn't trying at all.
He said he didn't want Jaiden coming from a broken home.
Having two sets of parents.
He didn't want me to raise a child alone.
He didn't think I could survive by myself.

These were all his excuses. But he said that he had already decided this. He was just waiting for the right time. Waiting til after Jaiden's birthday. He said he thinks he knows we will never be more than this. Never be better. Never get married. And he thinks he should move out.
He said all this while hugging me. He felt me break and he said "this is why I don't tell you things. You get upset." my response? "I have feelings"...

That's about all I said since. What else would I say now. Nothing, really.
He left to go tell his parents if his decision. They let him move back home. He returned to get his work stuff and games. Said he will come each day to move stuff bit by bit and by the weekend he should be gone.
...
As fate would have it there is no assistance available for me where I live for housing.
If I break my lease I forfeit my deposit, and pay penalty fines PLUS pay rent until the lease agreement ends or someone rents it.
Luck right?
Yeah.
So I have to sit him down and talk about finances. This. Is going to suck. I hate this. I hate what he's done. I wish he'd done it sooner. Wishing he'd not done it at all is dreaming.
And I don't have room to dream anymore because dreaming takes heart. My heart is broken.


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