Chasing 2 rabbits.

That's what I feel like I'm doing. I'm chasing 2 rabbits down the hole. And I'll be left rabbit less and within the dark of that deep, dark hole I managed to put myself down.
Greed.
And to make it worse, Ethan is talking about marriage a bit more. And he did it in front his mother and older brother. And it of course, has them concerned. And I tell him, and I'm sure he reminds himself too, one day at a time.
I don't want him to regret anything. He's already 21. Doesn't drink. Doesn't party. I want him to have SOME kind of semblance to freedom near and after graduation. And yep, he graduates next May.

He's dealing with a lot and honestly, having a wife, a 5 year old step daughter and contemplating a family right then is NOT the way to go.

Hell, imagine how I feel. 32 marrying a 21 year old? I'll be chastised by EVERYONE. And that SCARES me.

Chris will HATE me. And I can't just forget that or walk away from it.
Right now it's a sucky situation. All in all...
I'm happy but unhappy in the same breath.
And if I give up and just sit, the rabbit I want will not wander far but he'll not stay next to me, and the younger rabbit will sit right by my side. Unwavering.

...blehhhh!