That's how it's been. Not bad just a little stormy. No home troubles, no family issues, just the usual. And within the usual is the rumbling in my head. Half the time I feel like I'm dying with some undocumented (but not unknown) disease and I'm wasting time - and one day I just won't wake up.
It's a weird reflection on life that I wish i didn't have but it does creep up on me every now and then.
My friend from work has chosen (possibly not of her own doing but possibly of mine for never committing to our dates for whatever the reasoning) the friendship of a 19 year old co-worker of ours. She's young. Interested in doing what the young do at that age. And I find it best that I don't get involved with either.
I know they work out weekly, but it's late at night where 1. I don't feel like leaving home after I'm in, 2. I'm AT work and I don't want to work out after ..or 3. I don't feel like being around a 19 year old so often. Not that her age had anything to do with much but I just feel like....She has her own friends her own age. Why mix work and social life with someone who's got 10 years on her. She relates to the me back then when I was her age and not me now.
She's got a terrible temper. The typical "white girl who thinks she's black" sort...
She rages for little to no reason and honestly, if she does that to her boyfriend, her family, I don't think she really falls into my circle.
I just have always been cautious of the people I let close, and I rarely mix work with personal life. I don't hold many friends close and the ones I do are known for their maturity. Amongst many other traits. I wouldn't go out of my way for her as nice as I am, and I haven't. ie. She wanted to swap shifts with me a few weeks back. But I told her no I couldn't. And said ii was because I would have no sitter for Jaiden whereas when I work Monday nights, Chris is home with her. Which is partially true. But I also enjoy my days off. Working Thursday, Friday, Off Saturday and working Sunday, Monday off Tuesday Wednesday WORKS for me. It's built into my routine now. If for some reason I need to cover a shift, I'll make an exception because I know it'll be a one time deal and not something re-occurring.
I won't be seen as someone who will just bend as much as I can because I'm nice enough to do it. I'm also an adult with responsibilities and routine ..
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