Can take a deep breath and say "fuck you " and walk out with my kid. Honest to god. I hate her so much and I hate him for not being a man and opening his mouth.
I called out of work. My mom took the day off to stay with Jaiden so we wouldn't have to have her spend all day in the hospital.
I guess he wanted his mother to be there for him and not me because he said "I was going to have you guys stay home so she doesn't have to spend the day there".
Really!? I don't get a fucking thank you. Or even a 'no I would really rather you be with me'.
So I stay up all night. I cooked. Made sure he ate before midnight and then didn't eat anything after midnight as per orders.
I went out of MY way to be hungry so's not to be rude and eat in front of you when I KNOW you would be hungry.
I spend all fucking day with your mother who you texted while they prepped you for surgery. Not me. You texted her.
And only to find out you are going home with her!?
Oh and get this text from her after the fact from YOUR phone "Hey Mindy, just wanted you to know Chris wanted to stay here a bit so you wouldn't have to deal with him and Jaiden both.:)"
She ruined you as a man. She makes sure you have a place to run from responsibility. Hell she would have stayed in the room and dressed you. Who's fucking mother asks their 33 year old son if he needs help getting dressed from a hospital gown when his GF IS STANDING RIGHT THERE!!!! Are you serious?
Get. A. God. Damn. Grip.
She put his shoes on. She got his meds. Paid his bills. That's great!!! Need your dick sucked? Call your mom. Sex? Your mom
I was nauseated by today.
I could have stayed home with my daughter, my mom would have gone to work and I would have gone to work with Jaiden tonight.
Today was a COMPLETE waste of my time.
I hate you both.
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, May 4, 2012
Things
I find myself lost on just that. Material things. I've never been interested in things. In clothes, money, jewelry, shoes, bags, games, anything of that nature. Anything that could be a ... Luxury, anything that someone in my position in life would need to work hard for. I am cautious with money, more so with someone else's.
But lately, I find myself looking at things. Wanting things. For my birthday this year I had Chris buy me earrings. Late but still, I wanted it. I find myself looking for bags, not just random ones but brand name shit. And that's not me. I'm looking for clothes, nail polishes, shoes. I spent money on my hair. Not the 12$ hair cuts or the at home dye jobs but ... I spent more on my hair than I possibly ever have .. That means as a mother. In my time as a parent, I've never indulged. I never ever splurge on me. My mother spoils me and us. She's always buying us things for home or our personal selves. So after asking for those expensive ass earrings, I went and bought an expensive hand bag from fucking Coach. Seriously? And the bad part? It wasn't even my money I spent.
I know I'm not becoming selfish or greedy. I was able to save an incredible amount of money lately but then turned around and paid my parents' tax that they owed due to a W2 mistake which cost them over 1000$. And I paid it off. In full. So with that done, I was down to diddly squat. So with them paying me back with what they can on a weekly basis, I'm slowly rebuilding my depleted funds.
But I feel as thought I know this is the most I will ever get from this relationship. I made a commitment and even though to me it's 100% I know to him it's not so I'm taking advantage of what I can while I can because this is ALL its ever going to be. I'll never have anything more from him so I'll take all that I can. I'll drain him without hurting him or us. Without hurting his finances or his ability to pay our bills. Without him feeling he has no freedom to spend on what he wants when he wants.
He can go out and buy what games he wants. The random CD or DVD or some gift for whatever the occasion for whoever.
I am lost on things. Things I want and won't enjoy. Those earrings? Haven't worn them yet.
That bag probably won't get used because I go no where aside from work. Whatever else I may get will get tucked away and thought of but never utilized because it's just...things.
Sent from my iPhone
But lately, I find myself looking at things. Wanting things. For my birthday this year I had Chris buy me earrings. Late but still, I wanted it. I find myself looking for bags, not just random ones but brand name shit. And that's not me. I'm looking for clothes, nail polishes, shoes. I spent money on my hair. Not the 12$ hair cuts or the at home dye jobs but ... I spent more on my hair than I possibly ever have .. That means as a mother. In my time as a parent, I've never indulged. I never ever splurge on me. My mother spoils me and us. She's always buying us things for home or our personal selves. So after asking for those expensive ass earrings, I went and bought an expensive hand bag from fucking Coach. Seriously? And the bad part? It wasn't even my money I spent.
I know I'm not becoming selfish or greedy. I was able to save an incredible amount of money lately but then turned around and paid my parents' tax that they owed due to a W2 mistake which cost them over 1000$. And I paid it off. In full. So with that done, I was down to diddly squat. So with them paying me back with what they can on a weekly basis, I'm slowly rebuilding my depleted funds.
But I feel as thought I know this is the most I will ever get from this relationship. I made a commitment and even though to me it's 100% I know to him it's not so I'm taking advantage of what I can while I can because this is ALL its ever going to be. I'll never have anything more from him so I'll take all that I can. I'll drain him without hurting him or us. Without hurting his finances or his ability to pay our bills. Without him feeling he has no freedom to spend on what he wants when he wants.
He can go out and buy what games he wants. The random CD or DVD or some gift for whatever the occasion for whoever.
I am lost on things. Things I want and won't enjoy. Those earrings? Haven't worn them yet.
That bag probably won't get used because I go no where aside from work. Whatever else I may get will get tucked away and thought of but never utilized because it's just...things.
Sent from my iPhone
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)